T O P
psychedelicvampire13

Can u ask him to shoot a laser next time one of the rich fuckos goes off into the atmosphere?


TheAsAndYsReddit

Sorry mate, only soldiers can do that. And the police. And crossing guards.


vulcanxnoob

Which planet did he come from? What cool tricks could he pull off?


TheAsAndYsReddit

He was born on Mars and was a Martian citizen his whole life. He could do a perfect cartwheel well into his 30s.


Chance_One_75

Should we build a Martian wall that circles the Earth to fend off a potential Martian invasion?


TheAsAndYsReddit

No. There is no Martian invasion of Earth going on. Just mind your own business. And if you see a flying saucer, it’s probably just one of your own satellites.


Chance_One_75

I’m scared now! I plan on putting on my tin foil hat tonight to monitor your sound wave communication from the 4th rock from the sun!


TheAsAndYsReddit

Don’t worry, Cardano. The Martian invasion campaign in Texas is definitely not expanding to Louisiana, and another campaign is most certainly not planned to occur in Seattle starting on May 13, 2022 between 6:37 and 6:40 AM PST, which will surely not involve upside-down anal probes!


Chance_One_75

The Martians will be sanctioned by the Antarctic Republic!


TheAsAndYsReddit

Good thing the Antarctic Republic was destroyed then.


Chance_One_75

Nope, it made a dramatic comeback. The Republic has invisible warriors that guard the crystal ice walls that surround our beloved flat earth.


TheAsAndYsReddit

Whatever. Anyway, I’m going to Louisiana for, uh… reasons.


Captain_Illager

What is going on in Zeta reticuli?


TheAsAndYsReddit

It’s nice here. Better than Zolkamzax.


[deleted]

Ack ack ack ack


TheAsAndYsReddit

Every time an Earthling says “ack”, a puppy is euthanized.